I have kind of had it with being excited or happy for everyone else. There is a fantastic list of things that people shouldn't say to women who have had miscarriages. It isn't that they're inherently mean to say - it is just that they don't make us feel better and they just make us feel instead that the person saying it is kind of ignorant to our true feelings.
My miscarriage was almost a year ago. I am still very bitter and emotional about it when left alone to my thoughts. It has all come up again because a dear friend of mine has recently had her second miscarriage. I am hurting for her quite a bit.
Here's some insight on things not to say. Please pass this on to people who might need the education.
1. "At least you know you can get pregnant!" This is an attempt to be kind, however, the desired result is a child, not a positive pregnancy test. It doesn't really address the problems we are going through now.
2. "At least it was early" From the moment one has tested positive, hopes and dreams are building and a loss, even twelve hours later, is very significant and requires a woman to work through her grief process.
3. "This is God's way (or nature's way) of fixing it." It is understandable that people think this would be a warm way to address the difficult situation, but the truth is, many of us never find out what caused the miscarriage, and now we fear that there is something wrong with us that may never allow us to carry a healthy baby to term.
4. making any type of suggestion as to what you think caused the miscarriage. don't, unless you're my personal physician or a reproductive endocrinologist who has read my chart and clinical results. Are you an RE? Then you don't know. Don't begin to think that your suggestions here will be interpreted as anything but insulting and overstepping.
5. "You can always try again" - This is definitely true, and something that every woman will consider and feel better about over time, but at the beginning, in the stage where people are trying to console us, this does not make us feel better because we can't look forward quite yet.
Instead, just say, "I am so sorry for your loss." or just, "I am sorry". . . Acknowledge that she is grieving and that there has been a loss, and be there to listen or talk if she needs you.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The sweater. Still. ugh.
I am super tired of houndstooth at this point. I have knitted the back, both front pieces and one sleeve. I would prefer to hire someone to finish it. I was hoping to finish before my parents leave for their polar bear watching excursion next week, but that ain't happening. I can only sit for so many hours in a day! It will most certainly be completed before Christmas. I have a list of wonderful things I would like to knit for myself and I can't wait to get started!!!
my final twenty five.
I feel like the last one should be something really profound, like, "I'm five years older than everyone thinks" (not true) or "I just got a new job" - (I didn't) - so I couldn't come up with a good profound last word. I will have to continue to think about what might be profound. . . Right now, all I can think is that bed is sounding pretty good. . .
76. I love fireflies. It is difficult for me to not run after them and catch them.
77. I also still like to run after pigeons but not because I love them.
78. I crave salty and sweet things - not one or the other like most people.
79. I think that the contractor who redid our kitchen and master bath did a substandard job. The work is all about a year old. The caulk in the kitchen is cracking and crumbling out of the spaces in the tiles. He didn't bring the electrical outlets up to code in the kitchen or bathroom. He used plate glass on the bathroom window (not tempered glass), etc. This all happened about six months before we purchased the home. I wish I knew his name.
80. I love antiques and wish our house was full of them.
81. I like vacationing but would rather take a trip where we do stuff. We took 'doing stuff' trips when I was a child and few 'beach only' vacations. I like beach only trips, too, but it has been a while since we had a do stuff trip.
82. I do not eat leftover seafood.* I think that is positively foul. *The one exception is grilled shrimp. I might, depending on how my stomach is that day, eat them in a salad but there will need to be a lot of dressing and croutons and cheese, which sort of defeats the purpose of a salad.
83. Of all of the artificial flavorings, my favorite is orange. The most repulsive to me is watermelon.
84. I have a little bit of social anxiety. I get nervous when I know there will be a crowd and will look for reasons to not attend. . .even if I know everyone there.
85. I wish I dressed more classically, like in all black and white all the time with colored accessories. I would look good, I think. . . but it would probably get old.
76. I love fireflies. It is difficult for me to not run after them and catch them.
77. I also still like to run after pigeons but not because I love them.
78. I crave salty and sweet things - not one or the other like most people.
79. I think that the contractor who redid our kitchen and master bath did a substandard job. The work is all about a year old. The caulk in the kitchen is cracking and crumbling out of the spaces in the tiles. He didn't bring the electrical outlets up to code in the kitchen or bathroom. He used plate glass on the bathroom window (not tempered glass), etc. This all happened about six months before we purchased the home. I wish I knew his name.
80. I love antiques and wish our house was full of them.
81. I like vacationing but would rather take a trip where we do stuff. We took 'doing stuff' trips when I was a child and few 'beach only' vacations. I like beach only trips, too, but it has been a while since we had a do stuff trip.
82. I do not eat leftover seafood.* I think that is positively foul. *The one exception is grilled shrimp. I might, depending on how my stomach is that day, eat them in a salad but there will need to be a lot of dressing and croutons and cheese, which sort of defeats the purpose of a salad.
83. Of all of the artificial flavorings, my favorite is orange. The most repulsive to me is watermelon.
84. I have a little bit of social anxiety. I get nervous when I know there will be a crowd and will look for reasons to not attend. . .even if I know everyone there.
85. I wish I dressed more classically, like in all black and white all the time with colored accessories. I would look good, I think. . . but it would probably get old.
86. I always get a flu shot.
87. If someone misspells my name, particularly if they have seen it before, I think they are rude.
88. I love musicals. The old fashioned cheesy ones with brightly colored film and costuming are my favorites - example: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
89. I also LOVE Doris Day movies. The innuendo for the time is hilarious.
90. I make gingerbread houses every Christmas. I used to have to give them away because we had a rodent issue at our house. I am really looking forward to the gingerbread sticking around this year! I candy shop all year long to find certain things that will look good decorating the gingerbread.
91. My hands are almost always a little swollen. gross.
92. I love a thesaurus. I love the online version, at www.thesaurus.com, but it isn't nearly as good as a good old paper version.
93. I like terrariums. I think they are so very interesting to look at, and they look like the kind of place where fairies would be born.
94. I love going to baseball games.
95. I have a chicken pox scar on the side of my nose just below my right eye and a scar in the eyebrow over that same eye.
96. I love the "shabby chic" style of decorating, but I am afraid to commit.
97. I am a sucker for pajamas. I love long sleeve, long pants pajamas. Not so sexy, am I?
98. I prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate and do not like white chocolate, at all.
99. I read all seven of the main "Little House" books over the course of the second grade.
100. I believe that feminism today is having the ability to choose my own destiny instead of having society dictate my path.
88. I love musicals. The old fashioned cheesy ones with brightly colored film and costuming are my favorites - example: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.
89. I also LOVE Doris Day movies. The innuendo for the time is hilarious.
90. I make gingerbread houses every Christmas. I used to have to give them away because we had a rodent issue at our house. I am really looking forward to the gingerbread sticking around this year! I candy shop all year long to find certain things that will look good decorating the gingerbread.
91. My hands are almost always a little swollen. gross.
92. I love a thesaurus. I love the online version, at www.thesaurus.com, but it isn't nearly as good as a good old paper version.
93. I like terrariums. I think they are so very interesting to look at, and they look like the kind of place where fairies would be born.
94. I love going to baseball games.
95. I have a chicken pox scar on the side of my nose just below my right eye and a scar in the eyebrow over that same eye.
96. I love the "shabby chic" style of decorating, but I am afraid to commit.
97. I am a sucker for pajamas. I love long sleeve, long pants pajamas. Not so sexy, am I?
98. I prefer dark chocolate over milk chocolate and do not like white chocolate, at all.
99. I read all seven of the main "Little House" books over the course of the second grade.
100. I believe that feminism today is having the ability to choose my own destiny instead of having society dictate my path.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
oops. I did it again.
For the second year in a row, I completely let our dating anniversary pass on by without even a sniff in its memory. I feel badly about this. Our dating anniversary is actually the date of when we met, August 12, 2000. I can't believe we both forgot.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Two Three One.
My goal is two two five. (baby steps). . .
About fifteen months ago, I had annual blood work completed. When the results came back, I was called, and told that I had a cholesterol level of 360. Three sixty is what it should be if I am a man in his sixties who eats burgers and fries every day before his heart attack. This was a very alarming situation for me to be in. High cholesterol unfortunately runs in my family, so part of this was maybe hereditary, but obscenely high cholesterol like mine was just plain bad. Normal is under two hundred. Two thirty is high. Then there's 360.
So, I spent two months on Crestor. I don't know anyone else my age who has been placed on a statin drug. Many statins can cause liver damage and muscle weakening, and are considered highly toxic, pregnancy category X, etc. .
After two months, I was down to two thirty. This was super positive, but not a result of my attempts to get healthier, so I was not really comforted. I have spent the last year only consuming beef once a month. I try not to eat cheese unless it is considered dinner with a glass of wine. I greatly cut the amount of alcohol I was consuming, because my triglycerides were high, too, at the time the bloodwork results came back, and alcohol intake contributes to high triglyceride levels. I have lost and kept off the ten pounds from last session, and while I don't feel like I am at an ideal weight, I think I have done some positive things for myself in my attempts to have a 31 year old body and not a sixty year old male body.
I went to the doctor two weeks ago and just got these recent bloodwork results back. My cholesterol is 231. This is still high, but I am very pleased that it has essentially stayed level in the last year. Now I would like to get it lower, because that is just that much healthier. I have been eating oatmeal daily for about two weeks. This is getting seriously old, but I plan to stick to it until I have blood drawn again, hopefully for two months or so. I know that oatmeal alone is not a plan, but it is a good start. (I did just decline an offer for Pizza Hut lunch buffet, too.) I also plan to continue to work on all of my eating habits. I really try to limit beef, full fat dairy items, and I am trying to stay away from all fried items, as well. All of this however, is acceptable in moderation, and avoiding anything altogether is a recipe for failure, I think.
I don't enjoy going to the gym, and it is hard for me to make the time to go during the week. I have started speed walking for 2 miles every day, during work, while it is slow. This is about 30 minutes each afternoon, and it is five days a week, and this is as good as it gets for now. The goal here is just to not be so sedentary.
Anyway, I would really love to be able to get my cholesterol down under two hundred, but that is a two to three year assault, I think. My current goal is 225, because I think that a couple of months of perseverance can make that difference. Then I will reassess.
Do you know your cholesterol level? Maybe it is time to check.
About fifteen months ago, I had annual blood work completed. When the results came back, I was called, and told that I had a cholesterol level of 360. Three sixty is what it should be if I am a man in his sixties who eats burgers and fries every day before his heart attack. This was a very alarming situation for me to be in. High cholesterol unfortunately runs in my family, so part of this was maybe hereditary, but obscenely high cholesterol like mine was just plain bad. Normal is under two hundred. Two thirty is high. Then there's 360.
So, I spent two months on Crestor. I don't know anyone else my age who has been placed on a statin drug. Many statins can cause liver damage and muscle weakening, and are considered highly toxic, pregnancy category X, etc. .
After two months, I was down to two thirty. This was super positive, but not a result of my attempts to get healthier, so I was not really comforted. I have spent the last year only consuming beef once a month. I try not to eat cheese unless it is considered dinner with a glass of wine. I greatly cut the amount of alcohol I was consuming, because my triglycerides were high, too, at the time the bloodwork results came back, and alcohol intake contributes to high triglyceride levels. I have lost and kept off the ten pounds from last session, and while I don't feel like I am at an ideal weight, I think I have done some positive things for myself in my attempts to have a 31 year old body and not a sixty year old male body.
I went to the doctor two weeks ago and just got these recent bloodwork results back. My cholesterol is 231. This is still high, but I am very pleased that it has essentially stayed level in the last year. Now I would like to get it lower, because that is just that much healthier. I have been eating oatmeal daily for about two weeks. This is getting seriously old, but I plan to stick to it until I have blood drawn again, hopefully for two months or so. I know that oatmeal alone is not a plan, but it is a good start. (I did just decline an offer for Pizza Hut lunch buffet, too.) I also plan to continue to work on all of my eating habits. I really try to limit beef, full fat dairy items, and I am trying to stay away from all fried items, as well. All of this however, is acceptable in moderation, and avoiding anything altogether is a recipe for failure, I think.
I don't enjoy going to the gym, and it is hard for me to make the time to go during the week. I have started speed walking for 2 miles every day, during work, while it is slow. This is about 30 minutes each afternoon, and it is five days a week, and this is as good as it gets for now. The goal here is just to not be so sedentary.
Anyway, I would really love to be able to get my cholesterol down under two hundred, but that is a two to three year assault, I think. My current goal is 225, because I think that a couple of months of perseverance can make that difference. Then I will reassess.
Do you know your cholesterol level? Maybe it is time to check.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Update. Sweater discussion.
I can't believe it is September and it is now officially Autumn. It is hard to feel excited about 'fall' when it is still in the nineties every day. I made navy bean and ham soup last week. It is hard to eat leftover soup when you're sweating. I love to drink coffee when it is hot outside and don't mind sweating then, but soup, no thank you. The list of one hundred is updated, below - because I began the draft a while back, the actual post appears back a few posts. . .
I can't wait for some cooler weather so we can test out our fireplace. . .we didn't have one in the old house. I look forward to hanging stockings there at Christmas.
Autumn brings new things at the farmers market, and I didn't go today because I stayed up late watching weather coverage on the TV. Thanks for nothing, Hurricane Ike (not to trivialize what has happened to our coastal neighbors). . . Not eve
n a dribble here. I do plan to go to the market next week, or maybe I will hit the midweek one - I want to get some squash next week and see what else might be there. I love baked acorn squash with a little bit of tamari and some brown sugar. mmmmmmmm.
I finished the back of the houndstooth sweater. I feel like my speed is improving on the houndstooth, and while it still certainly takes a while, I think I may be able to finish it barring the possibility of other simultaneous knitted projects. It is remarkably apropops that I am working on this sweater pattern right now - it is developed from a Chanel pattern, and at this very instant, I am watching 'Coco Chanel' on Lifetime. Yeah, Lifetime.
I can't wait for some cooler weather so we can test out our fireplace. . .we didn't have one in the old house. I look forward to hanging stockings there at Christmas.
Autumn brings new things at the farmers market, and I didn't go today because I stayed up late watching weather coverage on the TV. Thanks for nothing, Hurricane Ike (not to trivialize what has happened to our coastal neighbors). . . Not eve
n a dribble here. I do plan to go to the market next week, or maybe I will hit the midweek one - I want to get some squash next week and see what else might be there. I love baked acorn squash with a little bit of tamari and some brown sugar. mmmmmmmm.I finished the back of the houndstooth sweater. I feel like my speed is improving on the houndstooth, and while it still certainly takes a while, I think I may be able to finish it barring the possibility of other simultaneous knitted projects. It is remarkably apropops that I am working on this sweater pattern right now - it is developed from a Chanel pattern, and at this very instant, I am watching 'Coco Chanel' on Lifetime. Yeah, Lifetime.
Friday, September 5, 2008
photos of other knitted items I have done. .
This is just a photo post because I am compiling a collection of knitted items that I have given away. . So, meet Baur, in the red apple hat, born and made in December of 2007.
I am still working on my one hundred. I have a draft post but don't have entirely 25 more new items that nobody knows about me. Do I wear myself on my sleeve so much that I have nothing new to tell people? I have got to stop talking.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
